Thoughts on Maapilim Seminar

So Ma'apilim seminar just ended, and it caused a whole slew of revelations. I think I'll go through them in order of my own emotional investment in them, from lowest to highest.

I realized, some time in the discussions of religion and long term habo plans at this seminar, that I want to eventually create a ken that mimics a synagogue. And that doesn't mean it hosts services. I mean that a synagogue is a center for the Jewish community. It hosts all kinds of events and it's a place that the whole community is welcome in (ideally). And yes, it is also a center for spiritual growth (again ideally) and religious education.

Some people are uncomfortable with religion and traditional blessings and prayers and things like that. When I say that there should be a habo synagogue I'm not ignoring these people - a synagogue should be a place for them as well. I firmly believe that they need to examine and learn more about religion, because it's where all our beliefs come from and everything good we learn from Judaism can be found reflected in the traditional beliefs and practices, it's just buried beneath lots of rhetoric and stupidity sometimes. But either way, my vision for the Ken is to do everything a Synagogue does, but better, and that includes bringing in people who feel alienated from Judaism and teaching them why it's actually pretty cool.

On a more personal level, it occurred to me that I will be probably the most experienced madrich on regular tzevet at Na'aleh this summer. I've worked at Machaneh as a madrich every summer I've been of age to, and the only person in my kvutza who will be there is Xander Fraum who has only spent one session as a madrich. Also, I'm the only one at machaneh, mazkirut or no, who has been participating in movement seminars. All this feels like alot of preassure for me to rep the movement. I'm actually slightly terrified. I'm sure it'll be fine though.

Finally, I've realized that I'm jealous of Workshop 56. Although a tad exclusive, their presence both as groups of individuals and as a kvutza are definitely felt in a very tangible way. And more importantly, there have been like 20 of them and like 5 of my kvutz at every national seminar I've attended and I wish there were more of us there so I could see my kvutz!!!

This last hurt the most to realize. I don't wanna be jealous of another kvutza, it's not productive. But I don't really know what to do about it - I don't really have any idea how I can change anything in my kvutz, especially because I'm not sure if anybody really wants to be changed. I feel like my kvutza is far more likely to drop me as a friend than they are to re-commit to any kind of kvutza process with me. And that sucks.